Crux III

I drew this one with a No.2 pencil. If you click on it, it should take you to a larger picture.

Need to Belong

I'm so alone and I feel like no one cares,
I try to pray but it seems like God's not there.
I've lost my mind, try to find the reason why they hate,
I am confused why my soul is in such a state.

My head is hurting and my brain is getting numb,
Ruined my life, now I feel like a bum.
All along, as I sing this song, it all feels so wrong;
My soul was cursed, from my birth, with the need to belong.

(Chorus)
I'm trapped inside the feelings of my soul,
it's like I've fallen into a never-ending hole.
I go insane, I've fallen for so long;
Feeling the pain from my need to belong.

I try to stand, but it feels my legs aren't there,
Please hold my hand, the pain's too much to bear.
I'm deserted in this dead and desolate place;
It hurts me that I can't see her pretty face.

My heart is beating and it seems like a drum;
I'm not prepared for what pain is yet to come.
My ears ring as I sing, like the sound of a gong,
I've been cursed from my birth with the need to belong.

Oxymoron

I look to the sky, tears stream down my face;
I don't want to die, gone without a trace.
The pain is so unreal, can't seem to see the light;
You can't hear or feel, the darkness in my life.

But I know that won't stop me,
I won't let this bring me down...

(Chorus)
'Cause sometimes pain can feel so good;
Being lonely makes me strong.
I don't wanna do what I should,
'cause it feels so right when it's so wrong.

When she broke my heart, she thought I was weak;
But she just helped me start the revenge that I seek.
She thought I would choke, from the pain & strife,
But I'm fueled by the suffering that cuts me like a knife.

I know she'll never stop me,
I refuse to sink or drown...

I finally conquered the painful memories,
I had to stop them before they killed me.
I cannot let go of this newfound freedom,
For I'm finally ridden of that painful problem.

Wilted Roses

Time goes by so slowly,
I'm dying painfully.
My life is so lonely,
It's all in vain for me.
Ever since you left me,
I have nowhere to go.
I'm blinded and I can't see,
my mind has sunk so low.

(Chorus)
Love's a bunch of wilted roses,
Thorns cut deep inside my heart.
I knelt down and begged and pleaded,
Still hateful words pierce like a dart.

When I look in your eyes,
I feel a burning pain.
All the acid words and lies,
start pulsing through my veins.
I'm nothing but a shell now,
Eroded by this hate.
Before I die I vow to reduce you to my state!

Love Ain't an Angel

She told me that she loved me, then she walked away,
that moment lives forever, since that fateful day.
It seems I never let go of the love I felt inside;
It left an ugly scar that I can never hide.

(Chorus)
Well, love ain't an angel,
the pain and hurt inside is like Hell.
you never forget your first love;
and whether you heal, only time will tell.

I swear to always keep you inside my heart,
even though you hurt me and tore me apart.
I'll never stop thinking of you, my first true love;
Your face like an angel God sent from above.

You left me a sign inside that you still care
but when I'm feeling lonely, I wish you were still there.
You give me the inspiration to hold on to hope;
The sound of your name helps my spirit cope.

I'll never let go of you,
'Cause you're still in my heart;
The love that I still feel
Gives me a fresh new start.

My Heart is Broken Again

I wrote this when my most recent girlfriend broke up with me.

My heart is broken again,
And now I’ve lost another friend.
She found someone else, and I’m here by myself.
I wish I could have told her how I feel,
I hope that time can help me heal.
Can I ever find another girl?
Who loves me more than the rest of the world?
Why did I ever have to go?
Will she ever get to know?
That I love her more than words could ever say,
And I’d take her back on any day.
I’ll sure miss her.

False Judgement (Originally What? Why? How?)

People call me a freak because I'm different.
Is that any reason to treat me like dirt?
What have I done to deserve this bad treatment?
Is the dirt of the Earth all in the world that I'm worth?

Does it really matter what I look like or how I act?
How can my heart be shattered when my body's still intact?
What is the reason for all the hatred in this world?
I can't understand this; my mind's in a whirl.


*I was awarded the poetry.com Editor's choice award for this poem in May 2007*